Belah Rose is a wife... a mom... an author... an intimacy coach... and the producer of the Delight Your Marriage Podcast!

Through the Delight Your Marriage Podcast... Belah interviews guests... and shares information and wisdom on a variety of topics including... relationships... marriage... intimacy... sensuality... sexuality... femininity... self-image... and self-improvement.

Belah's heart to help women in the areas that so many women struggle with... was born from the deepest hurt... pain... and failures of her own life.  

* A first marriage that included emotional, physical, spiritual, and sexual abuse

* A divorce

* Doubts and disappointments in God

* A period of significant promiscuity

* An unexpected pregnancy out of wedlock

* A husband who wasn't interested in spiritual things

* Guilt

* Regret

* Loneliness

* Shame

Belah is an amazing example that reveals God's incredible ability to heal and redeem deeply broken people... and deeply broken marriages!

By God’s IMMENSE grace, I transformed my past and started teaching Christian women how they can do the same: I see them feel powerful and sexy and become fully whole in their marriage and honor their divinely feminine essence to witness their husband transform into the man they have wished and prayed that he would become.  Belah Rose

Wade & Rachel Anderson have an amazing story!

Wade struggled with pornography his entire life... and after almost 20 years of marriage to Rachel... he finally crossed the "flesh barrier"... and became involved in an affair that lasted for 2 years.

After deciding he was going to leave his wife and family to pursue his relationship with this other women... Wade and Rachel came to a fateful night.

Rachel asked Wade... "Are you involved with another person?"

Wade responded... "We need to sit down and talk."

After finally telling his wife the truth... she responded by telling him two different things that had a profound impact on his hard heart.

First, she said... "I'll never leave you... no matter what."

And second, she said... "If you're going to leave us... you have to be the one to tell our kids."

In a mystery... God used those two statements to hit Wade like a ton of bricks... because he fully expected for Rachel to kick him out of their house immediately.

Later... he wrote in a letter to Tony... "I thought she would surely kick me out.  Instead the Holy Spirit gave her a gift to forgive me and show me amazing grace.  I was so taken back that I became a prisoner of Christ."

Wade & Rachel have now been in counseling for the past year... and although it's been a difficult journey... they've made significant progress on the Healing Path that God has intended for their hearts... lives... and marriage.

Wade & Rachel have put together a "healing package" that they now offer to other couples who find themselves in a similar place of brokenness and despair.  That package includes the following items:

* A personal letter of encouragement from Wade & Rachel

* A bible

* The business card of a local counselor

* The book - Shattered Vows- Debra Laaser

* The book - Keep Walking- Lynn Marie Cherry

* The book - How To Help Your Spouse Heal From Your Affair- Linda MacDonald

* The book - Wild At Heart- John Eldredge

* A personal journal to write in

Wade & Rachel are living proof that God is still in the business of healing deeply broken people... and deeply broken marriages.  Be blessed and encouraged as you listen to their story!

Wade & Rachel Anderson have an amazing story!

Wade struggled with pornography his entire life... and after almost 20 years of marriage to Rachel... he finally crossed the "flesh barrier"... and became involved in an affair that lasted for 2 years.

After deciding he was going to leave his wife and family to pursue his relationship with the other women... Wade and Rachel came to a fateful night.

Rachel asked Wade... "Are you involved with another person?"

Wade responded... "We need to sit down and talk."

After finally telling his wife the truth... she responded by telling him two different things that had a profound impact on his hard heart.

First, she said... "I'll never leave you... no matter what."

And second, she said... "If you're going to leave us... you have to be the one to tell our kids."

In a mystery... God used those two statements to hit Wade like a ton of bricks... because he fully expected for Rachel to kick him out of their house immediately.

Later... he wrote in a letter to Tony... "I thought she would surely kick me out.  Instead the Holy Spirit gave her a gift to forgive me and show me amazing grace.  I was so taken back that I became a prisoner of Christ."

Wade & Rachel have now been in counseling for the past year... and although it's been a difficult journey... they've made significant progress on the Healing Path that God has intended for their hearts... lives... and marriage.

Wade & Rachel have put together a "healing package" that they now offer to other couples who find themselves in a similar place of brokenness and despair.  That package includes the following items:

* A personal letter of encouragement from Wade & Rachel

* A bible

* The business card of a local counselor

* The book - Shattered Vows- Debra Laaser

* The book - Keep Walking- Lynn Marie Cherry

* The book - How To Help Your Spouse Heal From Your Affair- Linda MacDonald

* The book - Wild At Heart- John Eldredge

* A personal journal to write in

Wade & Rachel are living proof that God is still in the business of healing deeply broken people... and deeply broken marriages.  Be blessed and encouraged as you listen to their story!

Tony recently received the following letter from a man who listens to the podcast:

Hi Tony, 

Please discuss this on the podcast.  I’m in a dilemma...

My wife and I have been married now for 3.5 years. We both waited till marriage for sex. I knew on the wedding night I would never be attracted to my wife. I could go into details, but it’s the truth. 

What should I do? I opened the marriage package, and I’m highly UNattracted to my wife- I’m trying just to retrain my brain to be celibate while still respecting and being faithful- just give up on sex forever. It’s her weight, her breasts, her face even- and of course I keep this to myself to protect her feelings.

PLEASE HELP!

What should a man do if he ISN'T attracted to his wife?

And what if it's worse that than?

What if he's not only NOT attracted to her... but what if he's actually repulsed by her?

Is is acceptable for a man to NOT have sex with his wife if he ISN'T attracted to her?

In response to this man's inquiry... Tony shares 5 important principles... 2 in Episode 162... and 3 in this episode!

Tony recently received the following letter from a man who listens to the podcast:

Hi Tony, 

Please discuss this on the podcast.  I’m in a dilemma...

My wife and I have been married now 3.5 years. We both waited till marriage for sex. I knew on the wedding night I would never be attracted to my wife. I could go into details, but it’s the truth. 

What should I do? I opened the marriage package, and I’m highly UNattracted to my wife- I’m trying just to retrain my brain to be celibate while still respecting and being faithful- just give up on sex forever. It’s her weight, her breasts, her face even- and of course I keep this to myself to protect her feelings.

PLEASE HELP!

What should a man do if he ISN'T attracted to his wife?

And what if it's worse than that?

What if he's not only NOT attracted to her... but what if he's actually repulsed by her?

Is is acceptable for a man to NOT have sex with his wife if he ISN'T attracted to her?

In response to this man's inquiry... Tony shares 5 important principles... 2 in this episode... and 3 in the next episode.

Tony recently received a letter from a man asking for help because his wife doesn't want sex.

Of course... this creates great difficulty in this man's heart and life... because he does want to have sex with his wife.

In the letter... this man explains...

* That his wife has very little desire for sex.

* That when she does have sex with her husband... she does it for him... even though she doesn't really enjoy it.

* How difficult it is for him to have sexual desire when his wife isn't interested.

* How he doesn't just want sex... but he wants a deeper connection and intimacy with his wife.

* How he longs for his wife to "want" to have sex with him... and not just offer him "duty sex".

Through this letter... this man is asking for some help and guidance on how to manage this difficult issue in his marriage.

In response... Tony shares 8 principles intended to help this couple with this challenge.

What should a couple do when there's a significant disparity between their levels of sexual desire?

What should a couple do when one person wants sex more than the other person?

In the third episode of this 3 part series... Your Wife Doesn't Want Sex... Tony shares principles 7 & 8 of his response.

Tony recently received a letter from a man asking for help because his wife doesn't want sex.

Of course... this creates great difficulty in this man's heart and life... because he does want to have sex with his wife.

In the letter... this man explains...

* That his wife has very little desire for sex.

* That when she does have sex with her husband... she does it for him... even though she doesn't really enjoy it.

* How difficult it is for him to have sexual desire when his wife isn't interested.

* How he doesn't just want sex... but he wants a deeper connection and intimacy with his wife.

* How he longs for his wife to "want" to have sex with him... and not just offer him "duty sex".

Through this letter... this man is asking for some help and guidance on how to manage this difficult issue in his marriage.

In response... Tony shares 8 principles intended to help this couple with this challenge.

What should a couple do when there's a significant disparity between their levels of sexual desire?

What should a couple do when one person wants sex more than the other person?

In the second episode of this 3 part series... Your Wife Doesn't Want Sex... Tony shares principles 4 - 6 of his response.

Tony recently received a letter from a man asking for "HELP"... because his wife doesn't want sex.

In response.. Tony recorded 3 episodes of The Power of Purity Podcast in order to speak to this mans questions and concerns.

The first of those 3 episodes was Episode 158... and after publishing that episode... Tony received another letter... only this time from a woman who was responding to that episode.

At the beginning of her letter... this woman writes...

I guess you could call this letter... "HELP! From The WIFE who doesn't want sex!"

In this episode of the podcast... Tony shares that woman's heartfelt letter... as she describes what it's like to be a woman who struggles with diminished sexual desire... what that looks like in her marriage... and how it affects her relationship with her husband.

In the context of her letter... this woman makes several very important points... and asks some very important questions.

Among others... these include...

* The issue of a woman feeling "pressured" by her husband to have more sex.

* The issue of the kind of sex a woman should be having with her husband.

* The issue of a woman who is willing to have sex with her husband because he desires sex... but she doesn't really desire sex.

* The issue of a man appreciating his wife... not just because of sex... but because of who she is as a person.

* And the issue what a woman can do in order to stimulate higher levels of sexual desire within herself.

 If you're a guy... hold on to your hat... because you're about to get an inside glimpse of what a woman who doesn't want sex is really struggling with!

Tony recently received a letter from a man asking for help because his wife doesn't want sex.

Of course... this creates great difficulty in this man's heart and life... because he does want to have sex with his wife.

In the letter... this man explains...

* That his wife has very little desire for sex.

* That when she does have sex with her husband... she does it for him... even though she doesn't really enjoy it.

* How difficult it is for him to have sexual desire when his wife isn't interested.

* How he doesn't just want sex... but he wants a deeper connection and intimacy with his wife.

* How he longs for his wife to "want" to have sex with him... and not just offer him "duty sex".

Through this letter... this man is asking for some help and guidance on how to manage this difficult issue in his marriage.

In response... Tony shares 8 principles intended to help this couple with this challenge.

What should a couple do when there's a significant disparity between their levels of sexual desire?

What should a couple do when one person wants sex more than the other person?

In the first episode of this 3 part series... HELP! My Wife Doesn't Want Sex... Tony shares the first 3 principles of his response.

Are you ready to hear an amazing story of God's ability to change the human heart and life?

Ephesians 4:19-24 speak of God's ability to transform a person who has given themselves over to sensuality and all types of impurity... to a person who is now created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.

It's an amazing metamorphous as God enables a person to TAKE OFF that which is OLD... and to PUT ON that which is NEW... through Christ Jesus.

In this episode... and the next... Tony interviews Meredith Seithel Mitelstadt who is the founder of Tigerlili Resources. 

Meredith has an amazing story... and she truly is a trophy of God's grace!

* Meredith became highly sexualized as a young lady.

* This led to a significant level of promiscuity in her young life.

* This led to her working as a bar tender in a strip club.

* This led to her dancing at strip clubs.

* And this eventually led her into a life of prostitution.

Through this amazing story of redemption... like that of Mary Magdalene... you'll hear how God is still in the business of redeeming deeply broken women... and learn how God is now using a former prostitute... to rescue other prostitutes... and introduce them to the God who heals and redeems!

tigerlilireources.org 

In this episode... and the next... Tony interviews Meredith Seithel Mitelstadt who is the founder of Tigerlili Resources. 

Meredith has an amazing story... and she truly is a trophy of God's grace!

* Meredith became highly sexualized as a young lady.

* This led to a significant level of promiscuity in her young life.

* This led to her working as a bar tender in a strip club.

* This led to her dancing at strip clubs.

* And this eventually led her into a life of prostitution.

Through this amazing story of redemption... like that of Mary Magdalene... you'll hear how God is still in the business of redeeming deeply broken women... and learn how God is now using a former prostitute... to rescue other prostitutes... and introduce them to the God who heals and redeems!

tigerlilireources.org 

Can you relate to this cycle?

A man looks at pornography... and it makes him feel good!

There's a rush of adrenaline... there's a sense of eroticism... there's a sense of pleasure... and there's a sense of euphoria.

Together these sensations literally create a kind of "high".

The reason for this is because looking at porn causes an EXPLOSION of the 4 "feel good" chemicals in the brain:

(1) Dopamine - the chemical of PLEASURE!

(2) Oxytocin - the chemical of BONDING!

(3) Serotonin - the chemical of MOOD!

(4) Endorphins - the chemical of SATISFACTION!

Together these 4 "happy" chemicals produce an intense sense of pleasure very similar to the "high" an addict experiences from a drug such as cocaine.

And this is a PROBLEM... because when the brain experiences this intense pleasure... it intuitively wants MORE... and MORE... and MORE... and MORE!

So a man feels compelled to look at porn... AGAIN... and AGAIN... and AGAIN... and AGAIN.

And each time he looks... there's another EXPLOSION of the 4 "happy" chemicals in his brain... which embeds the desire to look DEEPER... and DEEPER... and DEEPER.. and DEEPER... within him... which makes it harder and harder for him to resist the ongoing temptation!

Said another way... what's happening in a man's brain is typically a GIGANTIC part of his struggle with porn... or any other addictive behavior.

The GOOD NEWS is that it IS possible for a man to literally retrain his brain... and to create new neuro-pathways that will enable him to resist temptation... and to honor God with the expression of his sexual gift.

In this series of episodes Tony does his best to explain... on his own kindergarten level...

The Human Brain.. Neuroplasticity... and Porn Addiction!

NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC BACKWARDS BICYCLE VIDEO CLIP:

https://www.nationalgeographic.com.au/videos/brain-games/backwards-bicycle-4092.aspx

Can you relate to this cycle?

A man looks at pornography... and it makes him feel good!

There's a rush of adrenaline... there's a sense of eroticism... there's a sense of pleasure... and there's a sense of euphoria.

Together these sensations literally create a kind of "high".

The reason for this is because looking at porn causes an EXPLOSION of the 4 "feel good" chemicals in the brain:

(1) Dopamine - the chemical of PLEASURE!

(2) Oxytocin - the chemical of BONDING!

(3) Serotonin - the chemical of MOOD!

(4) Endorphins - the chemical of SATISFACTION!

Together these 4 "happy" chemicals produce an intense sense of pleasure very similar to the "high" an addict experiences from a drug such as heroine.

And this is a PROBLEM... because when the brain experiences this intense pleasure... it intuitively wants MORE... and MORE... and MORE... and MORE!

So a man feels compelled to look at porn... AGAIN... and AGAIN... and AGAIN... and AGAIN.

And each time he looks... there's another EXPLOSION of the 4 "happy" chemicals in his brain... which embeds the desire to look DEEPER... and DEEPER... and DEEPER.. and DEEPER... within him... which makes it harder and harder for him to resist the ongoing temptation!

Said another way... what's happening in a man's brain is typically a GIGANTIC part of his struggle with porn... or any other addictive behavior.

The GOOD NEWS is that it IS possible for a man to literally retrain his brain... and to create new neuro-pathways that will enable him to resist temptation... and to honor God with the expression of his sexual gift.

In this series of episodes Tony does his best to explain... on his own kindergarten level...

The Human Brain.. Neuroplasticity... and Porn Addiction!

Can you relate to this cycle?

A man looks at pornography... and it makes him feel good!

There's a rush of adrenaline... there's a sense of eroticism... there's a sense of pleasure... and there's a sense of euphoria.

Together these sensations literally create a kind of "high".

The reason for this is because looking at porn causes an EXPLOSION of the 4 "feel good" chemicals in the brain:

(1) Dopamine - the chemical of PLEASURE!

(2) Oxytocin - the chemical of BONDING!

(3) Serotonin - the chemical of MOOD!

(4) Endorphins - the chemical of SATISFACTION!

Together these 4 "happy" chemicals produce an intense sense of pleasure very similar to the "high" an addict experiences from a drug such as cocaine or heroine.

And this is a PROBLEM... because when the brain experiences this intense pleasure... it intuitively wants MORE... and MORE... and MORE... and MORE!

So a man feels compelled to look at porn... AGAIN... and AGAIN... and AGAIN... and AGAIN.

And each time he looks... there's another EXPLOSION of the 4 "happy" chemicals in his brain... which embeds the desire to look DEEPER... and DEEPER... and DEEPER.. and DEEPER... within him... which makes it harder and harder for him to resist the ongoing temptation!

Said another way... what's happening in a man's brain is typically a GIGANTIC part of his struggle with porn... or any other addictive behavior.

The GOOD NEWS is that it IS possible for a man to literally retrain his brain... and to create new neuro-pathways that will enable him to resist temptation... and to honor God with the expression of his sexual gift.

In this series of episodes Tony does his best to explain... on his own kindergarten level...

The Human Brain.. Neuroplasticity... and Porn Addiction!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

The day that this particular episode was published is December 25h... Christmas Day!

So Tony thought there would be no better topic to reflect on for this particular episode than the birth of Christ... and the meaning of the coming of God to our world... and to our lives. 

Matthew 1:23 says that the baby who was born would be called Immanuel... which means "God with us".

John 1:14 says that God became flesh... and made his dwelling among us.

Isaiah 40:3 says that a highway has been prepared that allows God to travel directly into our mess. 

Luke 2:12-14 says that because of this baby... wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger... that God would bring "peace" to men on earth.

The fact that God has placed himself within our reach... through the Incarnation... makes all the difference in the world.

It inspires hope for our lives!

It creates possibility!

It means that we are no longer alone!

It means that God... and all of his resources... are now available to us!

This means our hearts... our lives... our marriages... our relationships...  our priorities... our futures... and even our relationship with sex... can be completely different than ever before! 

So... Make Way For God... and MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Shannon Ethridge is a million-copy best-selling author, international speaker, certified life coach, and advocate for healthy sexuality with a master’s degree in counseling and human relations from Liberty University.

Shannon speaks to high school and college students, single adults, and married couples about:

* Embracinga lifestyle of sexual integrity

* Overcomingpast sexual & emotional baggage

* Cultivatinggenuine intimacy in marriage

* Instillingsexual values in young children

Shannon has written 22 books... including...

* Every Woman's Battle

* The Fantasy Fallacy

* The Passion Principles

* The Sexually Confident Wife

 Tony had prepared an entire list of questions for Shannon in advance of this interview... but their conversation was so spontaneous that they never made it to the prepared questions.

In this episode... and the next... among other topics... Shannon shares some of her story... and talks about how the power of fantasy invites married couples into the deeper eroticism and ecstasy that God has intended for them.    

Shannon currently resides in Chattanooga, Tennessee.

www.shannonethridge.com

Shannon Ethridge is a million-copy best-selling author, international speaker, certified life coach, and advocate for healthy sexuality with a master’s degree in counseling and human relations from Liberty University.

Shannon speaks to high school and college students, single adults, and married couples about:

* Embracing a lifestyle of sexual integrity

* Overcoming past sexual & emotional baggage

* Cultivating genuine intimacy in marriage

* Instilling sexual values in young children

Shannon has written 22 books... including...

* Every Woman's Battle

* The Fantasy Fallacy

* The Passion Principles

* The Sexually Confident Wife

Tony had prepared an entire list of questions for Shannon in advance of this interview... but their conversation was so spontaneous that they never made it to the prepared questions!

In this episode... and the next... among other topics... Shannon shares some of her story... and talks about how the power of fantasy invites married couples into the deeper eroticism and ecstasy that God has intended for them.    

Shannon currently resides in Chattanooga, Tennessee.

www.shannonethridge.com

In the previous 3 episodes of the podcast - (episodes 146-148) - Tony interviewed Greg from Washington.

After these 3 episodes were already edited and in the process of being published... Greg contacted Tony with a concern.

He felt that he had not been clear enough with certain details of his story during the original interview... and he was concerned about this because he did not want to be dishonest... or duplicitous... in any way... and he did not want to misrepresent the truth about himself... or his walk of purity.

Greg's concern was this...

Although he did make a vow to God of sexual purity... and complete sexual abstinence... and although Greg did honor that vow for 3 entire years... he eventually came to the place before God and his own conscience... where he began allowing himself to masturbate again... on occasion… within the parameters of certain mental and spiritual limitations.

Greg wanted to bring absolute clarity to this part of his story... because he did not want to be dishonest in any way... nor cause a stumbling block to any other person by misrepresenting himself through his original interview.

For these reasons Tony decided to honor Greg's good conscience... and to present this additional aspect of Greg's story in the pursuit of absolute honesty and transparency.

Is it ever... under any circumstances... acceptable or appropriate for a Christian man to masturbate?

If a Christian man does masturbate... does that mean that he is dishonoring God with the expression of his sexual gift?

Tony speaks to these important questions... and others like them... in this spontaneous addendum to Greg's story.

This interview is with Greg from Washington.

Greg was married for 9 years when his wife discovered that he was having an affair.

During the dark days that followed... Greg's wife discovered The Power of Purity and Tony Ingrassia online... and gave the information to her husband.

Greg ordered and watched all 30 sessions of The Power of Purity Video Conference... and following that he contacted Tony to come to St. Louis for a week of intensive counseling.  

On the verge of loosing his marriage and his family... Greg was more broken and motivated than he had ever been to finally deal with the root issues of his sexual struggle... and was willing to do whatever it would take in order to become a healthier man.  

Although Greg had been a Christian for many years... and was very actively involved in church and serving the Lord... he struggled in secrecy to honor God with the expression of his sexual gift.

Although Greg was hopeful that his marriage and family could be saved... the difficult situation eventually led to a divorce... and the loss of his family.

This unexpected season of his life came with new challenges... because Greg was more committed to sexual purity than he had ever been before... and this led to the very difficult question...

Is it really possible for a single / divorced man to honor God with the expression of his sexual gift?

At the time of this interview Greg has been divorced for 4 years... and he shares with us the challenges... lessons... and joys... he's learned along the way on his new journey as he seeks to be the man of purity that God has called him to be.

Be blessed as you listen to Greg's story! 

This interview is with Greg from Washington.

Greg was married for 9 years when his wife discovered that he was having an affair.

During the dark days that followed... Greg's wife discovered The Power of Purity and Tony Ingrassia online... and gave the information to her husband.

Greg ordered and watched all 30 sessions of The Power of Purity Video Conference... and following that he contacted Tony to come to St. Louis for a week of intensive counseling.  

On the verge of loosing his marriage and his family... Greg was more broken and motivated than he had ever been to finally deal with the root issues of his sexual struggle... and was willing to do whatever it would take in order to become a healthier man.  

Although Greg had been a Christian for many years... and was very actively involved in church and serving the Lord... he struggled in secrecy to honor God with the expression of his sexual gift.

Although Greg was hopeful that his marriage and family could be saved... the difficult situation eventually led to a divorce... and the loss of his family.

This unexpected season of his life came with new challenges... because Greg was more committed to sexual purity than he had ever been before... and this led to the very difficult question...

Is it really possible for a single / divorced man to honor God with the expression of his sexual gift?

At the time of this interview Greg has been divorced for 4 years... and he shares with us the challenges... lessons... and joys... he's learned along the way on his new journey as he seeks to be the man of purity that God has called him to be.

Be blessed as you listen to Greg's story!